I live in Florida with my amazing husband and our three cats.

I love to read and part time writer.

I'm a historian working on my Ph.D.
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carlospalmer:

instead of calling someone a “grammar nazi”, why not try:

  • word nerd
  • syntax whiplash
  • fuckin geek
  • speech preacher
  • punctuate infatuate-er
  • ~Lord English~
  • grAMMAR SLAMMER
The Most Difficult English Poem

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Read this aloud and see how far YOU can get:


"Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!”

al-the-stuff-i-like:

homotwinks:

breadmaakesyoufat:

spenceromg:

Dear girls,

Stop saying you want an Augustus Waters, if you’re not going to be a Hazel Grace.

Sincerely,
A guy with good intentions

dear broni friendzoni,  it is almost impossible for a girl to go anywhere without fear of getting assaulted, if a guy walked up to us and immediately said he wanted us to go to the movies with him alone the very first time he met us, we have every right to be creeped out and weary, stop telling girls that if they want to find love they have to trust every “nice guy” they meet.

sincerely a girl who got sexually assaulted because she was left alone with a boy she only met that day <3

broni friendzoni

demonic-lionfish:

milliondollarnigga:

magnacarterholygrail:

jayjsupremacy:

phenomenarwhal:

~~~~~~~SIGNAL BOOST!!!~~~~~~~~

For anyone who is facing a mountain of debt after they graduate check out this amazing idea:

"SponsorChange has created a mutually-beneficial initiative that provides people power for high-impact non-profits in need, while simultaneously helping to relieve students of their ever-impending debt."

check out this link for more info —->

http://www.bust.com/be-a-good-human-and-get-your-student-loans-paid-off.html#.U1gA3fldWSr

THANK YOU GOD

WELL THEN

SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK MY LIFE IS SAVED HOLY SHIT ON A CRACKER FUCK ME SIDEWAYS

hello-darling-assbutts:

elementsheep:

disneymagiclaughter:

Aladdin, 1992

The opening scene with the street merchant was completely unscripted. Robin Williams was brought into the sound stage and was asked to stand behind a table that had several objects on it and a bed sheet covering them all. The animators asked him to lift the sheet, and without looking take an object from the table and describe it in character. Much of the material in that recording session was not appropriate for a Disney film. 

"Combination hookah and coffee maker, also makes julienne fries!  It will not break! It will not- …. it broke."

that line used to just kill me as a kid and now it’s better because it was unscripted and he probably broke the prop

If you dont love Robin Williams you are wrong

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

arostine:

pretend to be me in my ask and ill rate its accuracy /10



Track: For The Dancing And The Dreaming
Artist: John Powell
Album: How To Train Your Dragon 2 (Music From The Motion Picture)

cookiesincoffeecans:

marylinrp18:

I’ll swim and sail on savage seas
With ne’er a fear of drowning,
And gladly ride the waves of life
If you will marry me.

No scorching sun,
Nor freezing cold,
Will stop me on my journey,
If you will promise me your heart
And love me for eternity.

My Dearest One, My Darling Dear,
Your mighty words astound me;
But I’ve no need of mighty deeds,
When I feel your arms around me.

But I will bring you rings of gold,
And even sing you poetry,
And I would keep you from all harm
If you would stay beside me.

I have no use for rings of gold,
I care not for your poetry,
I only want your hand to hold,
I only want you near me.

To love and kiss, to sweetly hold,
For the dancing and the dreaming.
Through all my sorrows and all nights,
I’ll keep your love inside me.

I’ll swim and sail on savage seas
With ne’er a fear of drowning,
And gladly ride the waves of life
If you will marry me..

i made it better

I’ll swim and sail on savage seas
With ne’er a fear of drowning,


And gladly ride the waves of life
If you will marry me.

No scorching sun,
Nor freezing cold,


Will stop me on my journey,


If you will promise me your heart


And love me for eternity.

My Dearest One, My Darling Dear,
Your mighty words astound me;


But I’ve no need of mighty deeds,
When I feel your arms around me.

But I will bring you rings of gold,
And even sing you poetry,


And I would keep you from all harm
If you would stay beside me.

I have no use for rings of gold,
I care not for your poetry,


I only want your hand to hold,

I only want you near me.

To love and kiss, to sweetly hold,


For the dancing and the dreaming.
Through all my sorrows and all nights,


I’ll keep your love inside me.

I’ll swim and sail on savage seas
With ne’er a fear of drowning,


And gladly ride the waves of life
If you will marry me..

thrithwig:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

Me: “Coke-milk.. Legend… I am Legend?”

Husband glances over at screen: “Legendary”

Me: -stares at screen for a long moment- “Ooooooooooooh”

#moments Aria is not too bright

hi:

THOSE LITTLE MOMENTS IN BOOKS WHEN THEY ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING, LIKE YOU SMILE OR KINDA GET SAD AND JUST REALLY FORGET YOURE READING SOMETHING MY FAVOURITE

conorayne:

josiephone:

alwaysactually:

lusilly:

some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”

wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”

"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"

implying that magical children would know literally nothing outside of the wizarding worldimage



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